A DIVERSION

I haven't seen THAT CAT for days.  There are all kinds of places where he could be hiding. (Too many places.  Miss Creative still hasn't put anything away.)  But actually I think he's gone.  Not that I care.  He means nothing to me.

Oh.  I guess I was wrong.  Too bad...oops.  I mean...well...thank goodness he's fine...(JUST IN CASE MISS CREATIVE READS THIS...)

DEMOLITION DAY

Miss Creative of course did not bother to tell me this was going to happen.  (Or even ask me if I cared.)  But it did.  TODAY.  And what happened?  The destruction of my house.  Thanks to the OMNI-PROFICIENT ONE.  Or actually thanks to insensitive, thoughtless, stupid Miss Creative  (oops---I forgot this was a public blog) So---thanks to just plain Miss Creative, who hired the OPO to do it.  I went outside to watch.  At first.  But it was too...stressful?  (And maybe too...exciting?  If a newer, better house should replace it?)  

So I watched from inside.  Through the kitchen window.  

First the roof...then the walls...

...now the floor...

...and then... 

...nothing left at all.  Except a big colony of black widow spiders.  Living right underneath MY HOUSE (see how convenient it would have been?).  In that grassy area you see.  I plan to...um...visit them...later on.  I've had a craving lately for...well, for candy.  (And if you don't know what I mean by all that...well, check out my blog "ALARMS".  I don't want to have to explain it all over again.)  Maybe that will somehow take my mind off the whole HOUSE PROBLEM...

PEACE & QUIET

Finally.  Miss Creative is back at work.  On a book, that is.  What a relief.  No more of that horrible unpacking.  (At least for now.  I hope.)  No more rustling paper.  Ripping plastic.  Thudding cardboard boxes.  No more mounds of STUFF to trip over and get lost in.  (Well, there are still lots of those.  But at least I know my way around now.  No more NEW mounds of stuff.)  No more of HER moans and groans...

Wait a minute.  Moans and groans.  Plenty of those when Miss Creative works on a book, too.  (Unlike ME.  I never moan and groan.  About anything.  I'm always upbeat and optimistic.  And cheerful.)  But still.  Things are much better this way.  Calmer.  More...normal.  (Yawn.)  I think I'll go sunbathe on the couch for a while...

BACKTRACKING

I knew Miss Creative was making a stupid mistake.  Ordering three appliances in one day, I mean.  Today I found out that she ended up cancelling the washer and dryer.  Too bad she didn't listen to me in the first place.  Could have saved herself a lot of trouble.  

I tried to tell her, of course.  Hook up a brand-new dryer and washer outdoors?  RIDICULOUS.  But when does Miss Creative ever listen to ME?  (Actually it seems that a lot of people here DO put their washers and dryers outdoors.  But that's beside the point.)  So now there's no washer and dryer at all.  Not that I care.  I never use a washer and dryer.  A complete waste.  Totally unnecessary.  Just fly around in a rainstorm.  (Wearing your clothes, of course.)  Then do wing flaps and bough jumps until dry.  Although...that might not work for Miss Creative...

MORE CHANGES

Remember that big gaping hole in the kitchen?  As of 9:30 this morning---no more hole.  Now it looks like this:

It never mattered to me, of course.  Whether there was a stove, I mean.  (I eat everything...um...raw.)  But Miss Creative seems quite excited.  About cooking and baking with her new stove.  Though I see she is going out for dinner tonight.  Well, with HER, things don't often make sense, do they?

METAMORPHOSIS

The OMNI-PROFICIENT-ONE finished attacking the back-yard jungle yesterday afternoon.  I had to check up on his work, of course.  See how many mistakes he had made.  So I decided to brave the heat.  Venture outside.  (It was cooler by then.  I love sun and heat, but even I have my limits.) 

I couldn't believe my eyes.  The place was TRANSFORMED!

Now Miss Creative can begin on my house...

UH-OH

A short time ago I just happened to peek into Miss Creative's studio.  And what did I see?  THIS:

Now you know what happens when you first organize your entire studio; and then go out and buy three (3) appliances (a washer, a dryer, and a stove).  All in the same day.  Me?  I spent my time much more sensibly.  As follows:  Sunbathing.  Watching (through the window---didn't go out into the heat---a bit too much, even for me) the OMNI-PROFICIENT-ONE as he weed-whacked the yard.  Nibbling on tasty snacks.  Now I'm off to bed.  Miss Creative, on the other wing, still has to wash the dishes and clean up the living room.  Bad planning on her part, I say.

PROGRESS

The OMNI-PROFICIENT-ONE came today.  (Much more accurate word than "handyman".)  First task on his list---well, Miss Creative's list---was replacing the toilet.  (I never mince words.  As you know.)  And I was going to help the OMNI-PROFICIENT-ONE.   Point out all his mistakes.   Make tactful suggestions.  (I'm very diplomatic, after all.  And knowledgeable about toilets.)  That was my plan, anyway.  Before I saw him.  After I saw him...well, my plan changed.  Because...um...well, because he was way over six feet tall.   

So I helped Miss Creative organize her studio instead.  (In the middle of it all, Miss Creative got a headache.  Can you believe it?  No stamina.  She had to go lie down.  It was nothing to do with me, of course.)  But I did manage to check up on things just as the OMNI-PROFICIENT-ONE was about finished.  He had done a terrific job, I had to admit.  Even without my superior   Even without my suggestions.