SO MUCH FOR THAT...

 This LOOKS dramatic, doesn't it?  The rough wild ocean after the hurricane?  Well, I was there.  And it was a big disappointment.   People were surfing in those waves.   In fact I was planning to surf them myself, except  luckily  unfortunately I had...um...forgotten my surfboard.  And all those weather predictions?  120 mile per hour winds?  Flooding?  Trees falling over?  Power outages?  Well, it didn't happen.  (Really embarrassing for the forecasters.   They'll probably lose their jobs.  Serves them right.  I went to a lot of trouble, and even dislodged a few feathers, just to secure my belongings before the storm.  All for nothing.)  Anyway I've got more important things to think about.  Bird Lady.  And that letter she wrote to Miss Creative.  There's this one part....
  

...and it's given me an idea.  Bird Lady could just...disappear.  Even though she's WOODEN.  Ugh.  Very unappetizing.  Probably indigestible.  But a stomach ache...might be a small price to pay...for a solution to my problem....